Widowed

What does it mean to be widowed.

To me it means absence, absence of the foot

that used to touch yours in bed.

The other day I watched a TV show and turned

toward the other in the room to comment.

But there was no other sitting there.

Most mornings, I get up thinking my husband

is already in the bathroom. He always got up

slightly before me.

And so it goes on. His absence is always with me.

But the man is not.

But most of all it means the absence of a voice

calling Sue, Sue, Sue like an echo.

19 comments on “Widowed

  1. What a sad experience…And nothing can replace what was lost.

  2. Doris Baran Hirsch

    August 10, 2021 at 3:52 pm Reply

    The loss of Harry………..
    Music – What can I say. This was the most important bond between us. Since I play my FM, which is tuned into jazz programming, there are many tunes that immediately bring me back to our times together. Sometimes, I light up. Sometimes, I’m so overcome with sadness that I either change the station or turn it off. “Our love is here to stay” – that was our song!

  3. Michael Sznajderman

    August 10, 2021 at 4:11 pm Reply

    Mom, I feel dad’s absence too in not hearing his voice – more than any other way. Having lived so far away, it was on the phone that we communicated most. And when I called, the first thing he always said was, “Michael – hi.” I can hear his voice now, thinking about it. Love and hugs to you.

  4. Thank you, Sue,
    for for lovely piece.
    also, it made Marius feel present,
    all the way here, in Cuernavaca.
    Much love, Gobi

  5. This piece is beautiful, Mamala,
    Thank you for sharing it.
    love,
    Tobele

  6. Well done. Really captures a feeling with concrete physicality.

  7. Sue, I so sympathize with your sadness.

    • Doris Baran Hirsch

      August 11, 2021 at 9:01 am Reply

      Hi Nancy – Bereavement takes on many forms……….it’s ongoing. Not sadness but reliving the good & the bad. Sometimes it takes on a physical feeling.
      Doris

  8. I can actually hear his voice when you ended…Sue, Sue, Sue…
    So beautifully written, Sue.
    Happy to see you back writing…
    XOXO

  9. Maria Trice Jenkins

    August 14, 2021 at 7:51 am Reply

    I miss him so..my Gary had such a powerful, beautiful voice…his absence is so painful. Thank you for this piece.

    • Dear Maria,
      I just read your response to the post on my blog. I had no idea you read it. But more important —
      I assume that Gary was your husband. You are such a young widow. I am truly sorry. My heart is with you.I wish you the very best.
      Where are you living? You can write me at suzmessing @ gmail. I check my email much more often than the blog mail.

  10. Ton texte est très beau Suzanne.
    Je t’embrasse
    Nelly

  11. Mom,

    I can sometimes hear dad’s voice saying my name over the telephone same as Michael. Telling me he hasn’t heard from me for a while. He’d like to hear from me.

    I would like to hear from him again also.
    Love,
    Marc

  12. Ilda Pace Restrepo

    August 20, 2021 at 4:31 pm Reply

    Sue – so beautiful -so lonely……

  13. Hi Suzanne. Thoughtful reflection from the heart. I think of Marius often especially when passing his art in our Vancouver hallway.
    I’ll send the link to the family group. Much love. Ben

  14. Suzanne — the foot that is not touching yours in bed — the voice that is not calling through the rooms. I think I wrote those last words once in a poem. I’ll try to find it and show it to you. Thanks for this precise and delicate reflection.

  15. Ilda Pace Restrepo

    February 17, 2022 at 2:37 pm Reply

    Sue – Your comments are universal. They reflect our feelings so perfectly

  16. Hi Sue,
    I think of Marius often. With the loss I’ve experienced in life, my mind still talks to the special ones I’ve lost over time. But my soul believes they are at peace. I hope the same for you.
    XO
    Kathy

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