Roaming Through Life

Articles from August 2016

The Times They Are A’changing

1 Comment on The Times They Are A’changing

Last Passover, my husband, my daughter and I decided to attend the Seder at the Jewish Community Center. This congregation is probably as multi-cultural as a Jewish institution can get. Jews married to non-Jews are welcome. Adopted and biological children of different races enliven the services. Same sex couples feel comfortable.

As I walked in, a woman dressed in a beautiful, black hijab, decorated with crystal beads also entered. For all this organization’s diversity, this was a sight I did not expect and did not understand. We greeted each other and I, half-seriously, thought, “is this the last day of my life”.

There were no assigned seats so my husband and I sat down at a table where two women were already seated, while our daughter walked around greeting people she knew. The four of us chatted and we commented on the Muslim woman. “ She must be someone’s guest,” one of us said. “I hope so,” I replied.

Eventually, as the ceremony was about to begin, our daughter sat down. She introduced herself to the women and promptly asked them, “are you a couple?” I stiffened. People of my generation do not ask strangers, immediately upon meeting them, questions about their private life. And what’s more, in this case there were no hints, from my perspective, that these women might be more than friends.

Much as my daughter shocked me, she did not offend the women. “Yes,” they said, and started to speak about how long they had known each other and added that when same sex marriage became legal in Massachusetts, they married.

The fact that my daughter felt comfortable plunging right in with such a personal question I thought was really amazing. Indeed, the times they are a’changing.

The Seder started. I looked over at the Muslim woman and she was following the Passover story in the Haggadah. When we started to sing the traditional songs at the end of the ceremony, I noticed her enjoying herself, clapping and laughing.

When we left our Muslim guest again was near me. This time she hugged me and I hugged her back.

Words to Live By

2 Comments on Words to Live By

In journalism and in life I value my own expression, “You don’t know until you know.”  Said so much better was “If your mother says she loves you ….check it out!” This was the motto at the Chicago City News Bureau, created in 1890 by fifteen Chicago newspapers, with the purpose of covering City news co-operatively. It lasted until 1998. Unfortunately, the name of the editor who created the saying has been lost.

I now live in a community and stories fly. “ I hear John had a heart attack.” No, it was a stroke. “He was head of the philosophy department.” No, he taught English and history. I take all stories about people here with a grain of salt.

Thinking about these expressions started me also remembering other words – things my mother always said, folk expressions, other people’s words and, horrors, even so called clichés that I often use.  Why have some of these survived and why do we use them. Obviously because they are so apt and they are shortcuts to our thoughts.

This was one of my mother’s mantras.  Once, when talking about my daughter, she said, “ Don’t tell me how smart she is, or how pretty. May she be lucky.”  She believed luck trumps beauty and brains and I tend to agree.

You never know where you will find wisdom. The man who many years ago, before I owned a washing machine, delivered clean laundry to our home, once said to me,” To lie in a sick bed is a sure death.” He meant, of course, if you need to make a change in your life, big or small, get on with it. I never forgot his advice and often used it, but probably not enough. I consider it one of the most useful expressions I ever heard.

Two sayings I enjoy are: “ Too soon old, too late schmart.” How true. This one I learned on a trip to Lancaster, home of the  Pennsylvania Dutch community. One whose origin I do not know is “Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig.” I just enjoy the image of the annoyed pig.

I learned the latest saying in my small repertoire from my son Marc. He told me, “ Get ready, shoot, aim.” Whoops, what does that mean? It means don’t wait for perfection until you get going. So here goes, my blog, “Roaming Through Life”.